It is paramount that you know and understand the signs and symptoms of any illnesses you have whether physical or mental. It is also helpful to investigate behaviours that are abnormal and detrimental to your health or relationships. I hear people say this is who I am, everyone in my family is like this, but this does not mean it is the right or best way to live.
As for myself from a lived experience I recognise the signs and symptoms of PTSD. I have learned to identify that when I am tired and overwhelmed, I am easily agitated, and I feel tense, hopeless and may have depressive feelings. I also tend to self-isolate/hide away and withdraw. These feelings leave me exhausted and deflated therefore to prevent those from happening, I prioritise my sleep, timeout (I can lay in bed for a whole day at times doing nothing, my family can confirm😂), rest, having fun and saying “NO” where necessary which means I'm putting myself first.
My most common symptoms are intrusive thoughts and negative thinking. These can be exhausting. I can replay a scenario real or unreal in my head multiple times with numerous outcomes mostly negative. I will think about everything negative that could happen. Almost always they never happen.
How I managed these? Over the years I have learned to distract myself; you see I know the triggers and patterns. Distractions such as reading, listening to music, and breathing techniques are helpful. I have learned to sit still and quietly confront those thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.
Unlike before I now crave quiet spaces this allows me to understand my thoughts and feelings and the root causes.
Examples of some of my lesser negative thoughts are: “Demelza you are so stupid.”Which I would replace with: “That's not true, I just don't know everything. I know what is necessary!”
I replaced those with: “Hey that's not true, I have beautiful children, an amazing husband, great family and friends, a great job, a Bachelor's and Masters's degree, and I am doing everything I love and enjoy. Ok, so I don't own a house or a car. I can move house whenever I want and can ride any train in London 😂😂.” I sometimes have to vocalize these positive affirmations repeatedly.
Sometimes the thoughts are worse and take longer to control. Most often these severe negative thoughts are centred around the safety of my kids and I recognise that it is the projection of my past pain and fears.
Therefore, if you are familiar with your triggers, signs and symptoms and understand the roots of your behaviours and illness, you can better manage your everyday living to thrive and not strive.
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